I think “adult” is just a word : embrace your 20-somethings


Hi everyone! I am so sorry I haven’t been blogging. These past few months have been transformative and my blogging is about to shift completely with a really awesome partnership. I am super excited to share in the coming weeks.

I ran across a post that really had me meditating over the past year or so as I entered the “adult” world.  This particular post stated:

“relax you will become an adult. you will figure out your career. you will find someone who loves you. you have a whole lifetime; time takes time. The only way to fail at life is to abstain” – Johanna de Silentio

adulthood and adult are just words.  Words that we place meaning to… I had the hardest time with them once I graduated from UVA last May. People were like “well…you are an adult now…” “you are just like us..” “on to the next step…marriage…career”

man. I hated it when I first graduated because I was like “WHY ARE WE PLACING OUR LIVES IN THESE COMPARTMENTS?!” Is this all that there is too life ? Expecting hardship?….hating bills?….hating life?….embracing the mundane?

I freaked. I freaked when I started my new job. I freaked when I didn’t have a prospect for a relationship. I cried because I didn’t have the connections that I had in Cville. I missed my friends.  I flipped when I moved to a new area.  I was super stressed because I didn’t have everything figured out at once. Things didn’t come in levels or were so predictable when I was in college. I thought because it was done a certain way the past four years – that the formula could be used to tackle my new life. Buuuuuut. That didn’t exactly help at all. 

Adult is just a word. don’t put pressure on yourself to fulfill each aspect all at once. I’m no expert but I realized my life is about being patient with myself, my relationships, and allowing God to lead me on the right path. I try not to be hard on myself but I know God has called me to greatness. I want to love hard and fiercely. I want to be vulnerable and show people the real me even when the world doesn’t want me too. I want to trust God even when things don’t appear to fit the “compartments of adulthood”

I’ve learned to respect my journey.

If I could give some advice over the past year it would be these simple statements:


2.) agaaaain…..Don’t be hard on yourself

3.) Realize that you are growing and becoming more wiser and that you don’t have to fit the standards that people want to place on you. You  are becoming wise. 

4.) Believe in something. Have a foundation that you can always go back to

5.) Sit in the silence….turn off the technology. In that silence – you will find who you are – your dreams, goals, strengths, weaknesses

6.) Take time for yourself – look yourself in the mirror every morning – pick out an outfit that screams you, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on that makeup, paint your nails, wear that blazer, those chuck taylors… give yourself that time in the morning to just care for YOU

7.) exercise for health – not to achieve a certain look because you will end up pressuring yourself once again

8.) love fiercely  

9.) but also learn to let go when something is weighing you down

10.) Last but not least – RESPECT YOUR JOURNEY. Your journey is YOURS. Not your mom’s , dad’s , sister’s , friend’s, boyfriend’s, girlfriend’s. Comparisons are sooooo debilitating. Focus on what is in front of you. Go out and utilize those gifts and do those things you’ve been telling yourself you would do forever….DO IT….now =D

I’ve been really reflecting on Maya Angelou’s life these past few days and this quote stuck out in “Letter to My Daughter”

” Home is that youthful region where a child is the only real living inhabitant. Parents, siblings, and neighbors, are mysterious apparitions, who come, go, and do strange unfathomable things in and around the child, the region’s only enfranchised citizen…I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside , are still innocent and shy as magnolias.  We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do. “

– Maya Angelou in “Letter to my Daughter”


Find what makes you at home. Remember your foundations and what makes you who you are and respect your journey.


– Tonyette



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