resolved : I refuse to be anything but bold and beautifully made.

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I had an entire post planned out for new year, but I could never get myself to sit down and actually write it.  I couldn’t even finish it. BUT today inspired me and I am glad I actually waited to write this.

To be honest, 2013 was equally beautiful and confusing. When I decided to boldly follow God the Summer of 2012 I never really knew the true meaning of being emptied . I never knew what it meant to ask God to use me.   God is currently working in my life as I follow His path. Some things are clear, but many others are a little foggy.

One thing I’ve learned over the past few years is – you can never walk in purpose until you look in the mirror and see  God in yourself. I used to hate that I was different. I used to ask God – “why am I different?” “why don’t I feel pretty enough?” “why can’t I make friends?” “why do guys keep letting me down?” “why am I so hard on myself?” “Why did you send me to UVA?” “Why?” Yes – many people question their lives and many of the emotions or elements that come with life. But our questions manifest our constant battle with seeing ourselves within the boundaries of society. We battle with the things seen with the eyes sooo much.

A few years ago – God transformed my heart and my mind and showed me that I am his daughter. I am beautiful. loved. free. He showed me that I shouldn’t live a life of fear, doubt, and shame. Throughout this past year – I’ve experienced so much fullness. But I’ve also learned that when you start walking in purpose – with fullness comes many challenges and situations that strengthen our faith.  I’ve learned:

– Truly what it means to walk by faith – not by sight

– Each of us have our own mission, purpose, unique ministry

– Ministry isn’t limited to the church – we ARE the church

– Vulnerability is beautiful. It shows our true selves.

– Failure to communicate is detrimental. Be upfront 

– Waiting for God is better than overstepping His sovereign boundaries

– God speaks…. listen<3 

– God places things on our hearts and minds – whether they are fulfilled in the moment or later – hold onto them. 

– Christianity is full of beautiful colors of people and talents. Step outside of your comfort zone and experience all of them

– Relationships take time – familial, romantic, platonic. Can’t rush everything.  

– Don’t define new relationships with the past as a foundation. 

– Love is shown in all of our interactions. Appreciate them<3

– I am in LOVE of God’s multicultural mission for His people. 

– Death hurts. But no one can outrun that final destination. Question is – where will you be? 

– Even in paradox, Death is necessary and beautiful. Our spirits are finally released to be with the Maker<3 

– I can’t control a person’s actions. 

– Let go of what your view of “perfect” is.  Embrace the now. 

– Things can’t be rushed.  Take time in God’s Word to understand your next step. 

– Love fiercely. With every fiber in your body. 

– Regardless of my insecurities or fears resurfacing in this growth- God’s faithfulness is CONSTANT. I am bold and beautifully made

So what do you say?  Let’s be BOLD and be sooo aware that we are beautifully made by a wonderful Father.  Don’t let this world taint you.  You have a purpose! Seek Him for answers.

Take a look in the mirror – God’s beautiful creation is staring back at you<3

Happy New Year<3

ps. check out this awesome and beautiful song called Who We Are by Unspoken

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2 thoughts on “resolved : I refuse to be anything but bold and beautifully made.

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