Over the past 16 days, I am truly grateful that I did this beautiful challenge. I’ve been thinking about the word “new” these past days. As you all know, I’m constantly being nagged by how impatient , emotional, and manipulative I was in the past. smh. I get ahead of myself, I say too much, I overthink…it overwhelms me . I am always concerned with not being who I was a year ago…two years ago. I don’t want to be that empty person. I don’t want to be reminded of certain characteristics. When I am, it hurts, it’s scary, and it numbs me. I don’t want to be reminded of my weaknesses or my past failures. I don’t want to make the same mistakes. When I see even a glimmer of my past – I am distraught.
I have really been meditating on God’s ability to make us new and renew us everyday. See, those words sound nice on good days, but they sustain in the lowest, most confusing, or trying times. When you don’t know or don’ t have the energy God’s words sustain. They hit heart, the mind, the body and literally change the person. See the beautiful thing about the Cross is that I am new. Yes, I will be reminded of my not so happy times, but Christ and the Word overcomes everything. It renews us and allows us to take those weaknesses and see them from another angle. Yes I overthink and I’m pretty sensitive, but God gave me a heart for helping people. I will go above and beyond to help; I want the best for others. I love with all my heart and I truly try to see the best in others. Even though I overthink and my sensitivity gets in the way, God has and continues to reshape them and help me use them another way.
The butterfly comes to mind when I think about renewal. Even in though it goes through all these crazy phases – some beautiful others ugly – it turns into this breathtaking insect.
God reminded me of the renewal through butterflies today. This morning I woke up late – arrived at work and had to travel back to my apartment because I left my jump-drive. I came in my bathroom and my butterfly earrings dropped into the sink. I’ve been looking for them for a few days so I was pretty happy. When I left the school today – a HUGE butterfly flew out of nowhere. I haven’t seen a butterfly in a few days. Definitely needed that reminder this morning!
Embrace your past. Don’t let it scare you. Allow God to overpower that all. We are all made NEW.