If you’ve been following my blog over the past two years you all know my story. For those who haven’t – God has taken these past two years and transformed my life SO MUCH. During Summer 2012, I decided to read my Bible every morning and night/journal every morning and night and let’s just say – I haven’t been the same person since. After slipping and falling my way through 2011 – God’s hand still covered me and kept me safe. I had to surrender so much about myself in order for God to use me. I used to manipulate EVERYTHING…I tried to control EVERYTHING – my relationships, friendships, grades, looks – it was ridiculous. When I lost control in 2011 – I had to surrender.
Manipulation and control have really been knocking at my door lately and it is SO DIFFICULT not to want to answer. Yes- manipulation sounds harsh but that is exactly what it is when we try to do things our way and not God’s way. A few minutes ago I was reading about Tamar (Genesis 38:1-30) and I was actually really thrown off by how she disguised herself as a prostitute just to get an heir. As I read my devotional content – the She Reads Truth owners rallied for Tamar- even with her dysfunctional past, family, and ability to manipulate- She is STILL apart of God’s story.
Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,
Perez the father of Hezron,
Hezron the father of Ram,
Just like Tamar – I used to want to manipulate EVERY aspect of my life for MY good. Even though I’ve been reminded of that part of myself – I realized that clinging to God can overpower any desire to control. Just like Tamar- even though I’ve slipped and fell trying to control – God utilize those moments of weaknesses to show me that I don’t have everything under control. I’m perfectly fine with that…God’s guidance and counsel sustains me.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6
please don’t hesitate to ever reach out via FB/IG/through email (email@example.com) if you ever need prayer or want someone to listen. I also have a contact form posted at the end (erase my information, for some reason it continue to pop up in the form) . God gives us companions for this journey, don’t do it alone.