At this moment my computer is on E lol, but I wanted to write another post before I went to sleep. I feel so horrible that I haven’t done a post in about a month now! I have been trying to get back into the swing of things and really I wanted to get my thoughts together before I posted again.
For the last two months, I have pretty much went on this spiritual journey and I can’t even find the words to describe the beauty/love/and peace I’ve felt in God. Like, I really can’t even fathom how far I’ve come in TWO months…..it really just brings me to tears instantly as I think about it. Coming home over the summer is always depressing for me, I don’t connect with anyone and I always feel like an outcast. Well…that’s how I used to be. See after the devil tried to come down on me soo hard, I started questioning EVERYTHING. But I vowed I wouldn’t let the devil get the best of my spirit. I fought back hard by staying in my Bible…every morning…every night. My heart….my mind….my goals….my LIFE has truly transformed and it is all because of Him. I never felt whole as a person until this summer and it is soo beautiful.
I am just here to address a topic I’ve been struggling with for so long….TIMING. See I’ve always been very time conscientious. I thought everything had to be a certain way and a certain time. My life has always been by a timetable….high school. extracurriculars…college….job…etc. Those goals had completely taken over my life in the last 9 years.
As I connect more with people, I noticed the typical American timetable….especially for females. The biggest one is relationships and marriage. At one point in my life, I freaked because I had never been in a true relationship. Fail….after fail….after fail…after fail. Seriously yall….it really got tiring because I felt like I was putting in 100 percent and never getting it back…and all for what? …Just to achieve a typical American table. I became obsessed with the idea of a relationship….it was beyond me how much I thought about relationships. In addition to relationships, careers/post grad goals had consumed my mind….I was freaking about it being my fourth year….if I would have a job….whether I should take the GRE. I seriously wanted to SCREAM because of all this crap I had piled on myself because of what SOCIETY wants. As I’ve drawn closer with God, I NO LONGER worry about these things. Seriously, they pop into my head….my trust in God dissolves them.
See the world can have us fooled because we truly plan our lives around 4 or 5 big events….college….career….relationship….marriage….children. A WHOLE freaking life revolved around FIVE THINGS. As I meditate on this I am blown away by how much society influenced my thinking and I am sure everyone is feeling it as well. Five things…not saying these things are NOT important, but life shouldn’t be reduced to five events.
I don’t know if I am explaining this right….or if everyone will agree, but God truly gives us everyday of our lives to seek HIS beauty and be in HIS presence and we chase after things defined on society’s terms. I know, I know, God made marriage, BUT he made it in his own TIME. I know, I know…you may think God has created those people…those paper degrees…that fancy job….that car….that watch to bless you, but His love is beyond those things.
I guess what I am trying to say is, STOP RESTRICTING YOURSELF….stop restricting your mind….stop worrying about those things because God’s timing is soo perfect, I just know it. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says ” There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…”
As I read that verse, I am blown away because God has a time and a season for EVERYTHING. As I started to try to control my life…those guys I wanted…that career path I wanted, God took a look at my little plan…tore it up and now all I have is Him. God controls everything….he has created us for a purpose (2 Corinthians 5:5) and the plans he has for us is beyond what society or any human being can fathom ( 1 Corinthians 2:9). So stop worrying about today…tomorrow….10 years from now and wake up and look at what God has done RIGHT NOW. When you start looking at life through the lens of gratefulness…things become so much more beautiful, believe me. We all having a living spirit and we can truly bless someone each and every day of our lives.
God has a plan FOR YOU….not your mother’s plan…your father’s plan….your boyfriend’s plan…..your roommate’s plan….You have your own special mission. So please keep that in your heart and let it motivate you.
Okay…I have to get some rest…I have to drive back to cville tomorrow.
Please feel free DM me/FB me/Email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) if anyone ever needs to talk. You are not alone in your journey in the world. Be blessed<3