I just read an amazing article on Clutch Mag.com and it really summed up the things I’ve experienced as a young women. Wherever I go, I constantly meet other women, regardless of race or ethnicity, that constantly judge and hate another women.
I’ve experienced this as young as 11, when girls constantly ostracized me because I didn’t have a pair or Air Force Ones or I wore my hair differently.
I also watched my little sister be forced to move to another middle school because she couldn’t go anywhere without girls wanting to pick fights with her.
Or take high school, the worst of the worst. In the tenth grade, I had to let some people go because it seemed like all they wanted to do was talk about another girl…ALL THE TIME. As a black, energetic, driven young women, I definitely realized I was different. Many girls called me “white” or didn’t include me because I didn’t wear this brand or I didn’t hang with this person. I felt like an outcast in high school because I wanted to be smart…
Sadly, from what I’ve observed, college isn’t really any different. Girls are still the same….still talking about one another and plotting revenge.
Why must we continue to hate one another?
After taking a few psychology classes and being a Big Sister with the Young Women Leaders Program, I have a theory of about girl-hate. I feel society has made women this way. From the time we are born, we are taught to be girly, quiet, dainty, and to suppress our feelings. If you are a tom-boy you are looked at as weird and different.
Since we aren’t able to explicitly express ourselves, we turn to other ways to release inner aggression. Guys have physical aggression, girls have relational aggression. We look for ways to plot to ruin a girl’s reputation by ruining her friendships. I’ve done it when I was younger and I know people who have done it. SADLY, people haven’t grown out of it.
I think self-confidence issues play a role in “hating” among women. Why else would a young women so blatantly call a girl a ugly or a “hoe” or “bitch” without even knowing anything about her? That’s straight ignorance.
After all of the stuff I’ve been through with girls. After changing friends so many times, after spending so many nights crying and confused, I made it a promise to myself to NEVER talk about a person I don’t know . I make it a point to get to know a person and truly look at there situation before even thinking judgments about a person.
Self-confidence is key to fighting this. I know myself…therefore, I don’t look down on anyone. I know how to sing praises and give compliments to another women without feeling inferior. I know that every women is different and I don’t feel that my assets are downgraded by another.
So let’s time the time to praise one another, support one another, and NOT JUDGE…please. you never know what you miss out on because you judge. Also, look at yourself before you try to play another person. You may be missing a few pieces to your puzzle, so take that energy and channel it into figuring out who you are.
Stop the hate.
Please read the Clutch Magazine article at http://clutchmagonline.com/2011/08/do-women-hate-women/